Do You Smell That???

So I have been reading alot of magazines lately, and I have noticed one major thing they all have in common. They all have ads for different types of fragrances with little tabs where you can actually smell them. Problem with that is you have a good smelling type of cologne or perfume, mixed with the smell of stale paper, and peoples grubby hands. So you don't actually get the full effect of the smell. I for one do not agree with this because, lets face it, it's fucking gross to think how many hands have touched this small section of the magazine. In lieu of my personal feelings of this (and the simple fact that I myself am a cologne connoisseur) I have put together some steps to finding your perfect smell. Male or Female, it will work for you.

Step 1: Take a shower. Obviously if you want to smell good you need to take a shower. Nobody likes sweaty BO, or the smell of you dog or cat. When choosing soap or body wash products you need to look at the different type of smells. Minty products are good if you want to smell like menthol cigarettes, but not to many people like that smell (plus it really burns your eyes, whether or not you get it in your eyes). Fruity smells are good, and women tend to like it because its a very noticeable smell to them (They use a lot of fruity shit). For the man that does not want to smell like a woman though, you want to go with something that has some spice to it. My personal preference is most axe products, and something that has some type of moisturizer. You need to keep you skin soft, women and men alike like someone with soft skin.

Step 2: Find your smell. There are many different types of people out there, and many different types of smells. To find your perfect cologne or perfume (stay the fuck away from body sprays, they smell like aerosol) you have to find what fits you. The best way to do this is to sample everything when you are shopping, and that does not mean apply it to yourself. A quick spray on one of those little paper tabs and you should be fine. ( here is a tip guys, take a chick with you) You never want to find anything to musky, If you want that smell let your dog spray you and mark you as his territory (its the same thing). You want preferably want something that is sweet with a little bit of spice to it. Something that says " I smell like a sweet rose, but remember babe, I have thorns".

Step 3: Don't over do it. You may have gotten the perfect scent for you, but remember you don't want people to gag because of the overwhelming aroma when they get to close to you. You never need more than two to three sprays. One on the neck, your shirt, and if you're like me and you actually dance with women one on your belt line. It also never hurts to put a small dab behind your ears, ( this is for when a woman gets super close to talk to you, you gets that nice whiff). Do not bath in your fragrance, you will look and smell like a jerk.

Step 4: Don't ever talk about your cologne. This is pretty much self explanatory. Obviously when someone makes a comment about your cologne, humor them, but do not over do it. A simple " Why thank you, it's super cool for men, by smiles" will suffice. No one cares about the process of you picking this certain scent that you like.

So this has been my guide  to finding your smell. Follow these easy steps and in no time you will be turning heads, and getting women just because they want to smell you. There really is nothing to it, but for some odd reason people still cant figure it out. It's simple if you smell awesome, chicks will want to talk to you. If you smell normal, bartenders may talk to you. If you smell like ass, no one will want to talk to you. Its always good to smell above the rest of the crowd.

For those of you who don't like to shop for cologne here are some types that you may like:

Armani Code: An everyday scent that is good to wear to the grocery store or the bar/club
Lacoste (any type really): A sporty scent that is good for a day of golf at your local country club, or day drinking sports bar
Calvin Klein Euphoria: A classy, sweet smell for when you want women to try and rip you clothes off to get at that
Versaci Pour Homme: Another classy smell, good for most gentleman's clubs or relaxing at your favorite watering hole
Tommy Bahama Set Sail St Barts: Perfect for day drinking and any beach like or outdoor bar
Burberry Brit: Very classy for when you want to impress that special girl with a romantic dinner
Ralph Lauren Romance Silver: When you really need class, and you're going to some type of formal, ball, or ballet.
Candies for Men: A sweet smell, perfect for anything really

Stay the fuck away from aftershave. No woman wants a man that smells like her dad.