Recent studies have shown that a majority of the American people are fat, obese, and slobby. There is a simple, and easy solution to this problem....... STOP FUCKING EATING!!!!. Now I am by no means saying starve yourself, or start throwing up after meals, that shit is not healthy by any means. What I am saying is that you can eat healthy, and exercise (trust me, it does in fact work). Basically what American society is saying is that we are lazy.
I would like to quote the comical genius of Dennis Leary. He stated in a stand up of his on why he could never be fat. " When I wake up and cant see my dick, I STOP EATING" I don't know about the rest of the male population in America, but I love my dick, I love being able to wake up and say "Good morning buddy, are you ready to get some tonight?" Enough is enough, people need to quit with the excuses, quit with the whining, and quit with the whole being lazy bull shit. If you are reading this, then you are here because you want to learn how to quit being a pathetic fat piece of shit, that nobody wants to talk to. So I am here to help.
For starters, you need to go on a diet. Yes diets do in fact work, but you need to follow them, and you cannot cheat them. In the end, you will be a better, healthier person. There are many different types of diets out there in today's society, and some of them are stupid, but a majority of them will actually work for you. (The biggest loser is not one of them). Carbs can be healthy, but you have have to eat them according to your diet. Fatty foods like Burgers, fries, milkshakes, and anything from Taco Bell are completely fine to eat, but you have to exercise to keep that weight off of you. You cant just eat and not exercise otherwise you are doing nothing for yourself, dumb ass.
When it comes to exercising, you cant just follow what other people do, you have to do what works for you. Every one is different, and so should your exercises. One thing that you can always do to help you cut fat is, you guessed it, GET YOUR FAT, LAZY ASS OUT THERE AND START RUNNING! Running is one of the best ways to cut fat, but you have to mix it up. Don't just try and run 10 miles a day, because you are going to destroy your knees. Start out with 1 to 2 miles at an easy 9 minute mile pace 3 times a week. Then mix it up with 100 meter sprints, a lot of 100 meter sprints. Another good way to cut fat is by going to your local swimming pool and actually doing laps, a lot of laps. Swimming is one of the best things you can do, it literal works every single muscle in your body. Once again you have to mix it up with different types of strokes. Do one week of nothing but free style, and move on to your back, or breast stroke. If you are coordinated enough to do it, definitely do the butterfly (you know that stroke that Michael Phelps destroyed everyone in). Its not going to happen over night though, you need to remember that, it takes time and patience to whip your fat ass into shape.
Another thing you need to remember is weight training. It is important to strengthen your muscles by lifting some mother fucking weights. You don't want to waste your muscles, use them. Trust me ladies will love it when you are in shape. You don't need to be monstrously huge, but you don't want to be super skinny either. Think Georges St. Pierre, try and work for that type of body. Chicks will be crawling all over you.
Alright, I have given you the tips, I have given you what you need to succeed, now get your fat ass out there and start your new diet, your new workouts, and your new life leading you to total awesomeness. If my buddy Jack can do it, you can do it too. Just quit being a lazy piece of shit who eats nothing but junk.
Note: Jack is a very good friend of mine, who was close to weighing 300 pounds, but with a strong diet, and exercise, he is now fucking jacked and weighing 195 pounds, and he is a prime example of awesomeness.
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